So this is the 30th day. I'm dissapointed to myself that didn't manage to arrange a party. Was planning to do that on Friday, but then another friend was faster. Anyway I'm now planning to invite instantly some people to restaurant. For example there's one lebanese restaurant that would be classy. I think I have to skip being vegan today since otherwise it gets almost impossible to have proper hari raya today.  Maybe I'll skip the wine glas anyway since for sure there will be one tomorrow and also in the weekend.

Somehow I feel quilty going back to my old bad habits, but for sure I'm gonna eat less sweets in September than in July. Being vegan has been social suicide, but at least had delicious meals at home (yesterday was making rye chapatas with sri lanka style coconut sambol). And in the last days it felt ridiculous to say I can't eat this or that because I'm a "vegan".

One of the recent topics to talk about have been first impressions. It has happened more than once that I have sort of disliked somebody who has later come a good friend. And it's even more interesting considering how many people give to me negative first impression. I was now looking some old photos in facebook trying to track some people who have later come closer. It has been hilarious to find some people from same events with me without even remembering that they were present. For example I still don't have any idea where did I meet for the first time one guy that has come quite close friend during last year. 

This seems to be one of the essential spiritual things that happen: always everything seems to happen the other way you're expecting and hoping. Maybe have to start to dream about getting pregnant.   

Now it happened what I was afraid of. I was trying to look for a particular chinese restaurant that should have vegan food, but cause was not able to find it, chose another place thinking I can easily avoid such things as milk, eggs and oyster sauce. I asked whether they have vegan food and after green light was given, I happily ordered a portion. In the middle of eating I realised that it's containing fried egg with vegetables. I was so angry to myself to not ask more carefully what the food is actually containing, I should have also realised that noodles most likely also contain eggs. But this was important lesson: vegan has to be always paranoid in order to avoid animal products. Because of that it would be quite troublesome to travel in countries where you don't know the local language.

I participated to fish dinner and mostly ate my own deep fried tempeh. We were talking about Ramadan and one of the guests asked did I gain weight. I heard that actually that is not at all uncommon phenomenon in Muslim countries since it's common to eat something fatty and sweet and as it's not possible to do normally exercise in the daytime, surely the outcome is not as positive as you would expect while starving. But anyway my Ramadan is highly Scandinavian and orthorexic: mostly I eat oat porridge, fruits and nuts before going to sleep.

There is less than one week left and actually I feel sad to leave vegan diet because of social reasons, but there are somethings I'm looking forward to taste: weird Norwegian cheese my friend bought and chocolate covered bacon they offered in the Restaurant day.

I get positive feedpack at work, but once in a while something happens that makes me to understand those who have burn out. For example yesterday I went to help to the emergency where was a chaos developing. There was some older lady that had ailment that has been last 30 years and also been evaluated for many times in hospital. Since I was feeling energetic I was listening to her and even doing consultation even though I knew that most likely it will be a boomerang. Somebody else in my position would have been much more rude and it was suprise in the first place why she was accepted to the list. Well, after I told my information: I'm not gonna send her to hospital emergency since she doesn't have any illness that would need operation in next few days and cause general condition is good. After that she snaps: "Oh I should have known. This place is nothing more than a guess centre."

In Finnish language "health" and "guess" rhyme and that's why it has come somekind of insulting term to heath center used in situation when the patient doesn't get what they want (usually it's antibiotics or some examination that would be mindless to do) and is as close to its literal meaning as "gay", "fuck you" and "hijo de puta". Staff in the guess centre again use term "supermarket" to refer this type of patient who knows better.